Season 1 Episode 4 “Battle of the Sexists”

~Outline~
Eric and Donna argue, after she continually defeats him in various sports and games. Jackie pressures Donna to let Eric win, while Hyde and Fez pressure Kelso to stand up to Jackie. Red's job hours at the auto plant are cut back and he is forced to stay home, keeping himself occupied by "fixing" things, much to Kitty's dismay.

~Vocabulary~
○impersonation
Jackie : Do your Chico impersonation.

○Exodus
○Deuteronomy
Eric : You're dreaming. It's like comparing (Red's coming in) Exodus and Deuteronomy both of
which have taught us very valuable lessons.

○crock pot
Kitty : I gotta go hide the crock pot.

○on one's feet
Eric : Forman has the ball. He fakes left. He fakes right. The crowd is on their feet!

○saw
Red : I'm getting the saw.

○wuss
Fez : Yes, but this is America, wuss.

○thigh
○spank
Fez : Michael, rub oil on my thighs while I spank you.

○be going through a rough patch
Kitty : So I gather you and Donna are going through a rough patch.

○stab
Donna : Don't worry about it. Someone will stab Eric. Bye.

○coming down with
Eric : With you? I'd love eto, but I'm kind of tired and my wrist hurts, and I think I'm coming down with the flu.

○forefather
Hyde : Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers.

○clump
Donna, you sat on my chest and made me eat a clump of dirt.

○reservoir
○skinny-dipping
Jackie : You know what would be a good romantic scene in movie? The night we had by the reservoir when we went skinny-dipping.

~Funny Lines~
Jackie : I'm waiting.
Eric : Forget it.
Hyde : Just say it and she'll go home.
Eric : Fine. You're right, Jackie, the Fonz could beat up Bruce Lee.
Jackie : Thank you. Now, Michael, call me tonight at 8:00.
Kelso : But that's when Chico And The Man is on.
Jackie : I know. But I like it when you describe it to me. Do your Chico impersonation.
Kelso : I don't think these guys really want to hear my...
Eric : Sure we would.
Hyde : Go ahead, Michael. By all means. Please.
Kelso : All right. [Mimicking Freddy Prinze] Looking good!

Eric : Kelso, quick question. Why can't you date someone a little less annoying?
Kelso : Like who?
Eric : What about Barbara Vensen?
Kelso : She's just as annoying as Jackie.
Hyde : Yeah, but her boobs are huge.
Kelso : So?
Hyde : Do you find that annoying?
Kelso : Pam Macy. Now she's got some knockers, baby.
Hyde : True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's.
Kelso : Yeah, they are.
Eric : You're dreaming. It's like comparing (Red's coming in) Exodus and Deuteronomy both of which have taught us very valuable lessons. Hi Dad.

Hyde : Look, the issue isn't, are Pam's big, right? They issue is, are they bigger than Barbara's? Because Barbara's are bigger than (Kitty's coming down) the walls of Jericho, which, as we all kow, came tumbling down, right? Hello, Mrs. Forman.

Kitty : Hi. Eric, did your father come down here?
Eric : Yeah, he's fixing the dryer.
Kitty : Dear. You know ever since the plant cut back his hours, he spends all his time fixing things. Things that don't need fixing, Things I need. Things I use. Things I love. I gotta go hide the crock pot .

Kelso : If he's like this now, he's gonna be a total headcase, if they shut down the plant. He's gonna be this pathetic guy. (Red's opening the door) With breasts the size of watermelons! Is what Moses said to the Egyptians.
Red : Kelso, go home.

Eric : Forman has the ball. He fakes left. He fakes right. The crowd is on their feet !

Kelso : Donna beat you in basketball?
Fez : Is this true, Eric?
Eric : Yeah. What, is that a big deal?
Hyde : Of course not. Unless, Donna happens to be, you know, a girl.
Kelso : Especially a girl you love.
Fez : You know, in my country, if a woman beast you, it makes her want you.
Eric : Really?
Fez : Yes, but this is America, wuss.
Kelso : Wuss, wuss, wuss.
Hyde : Kelso, would you stop that?Wuss wuss wuss.
Eric : Wait. What about Kelso? I mean, Jackie has him totally whipped.
Fez : Whipped like the family pig.
Kelso : I am no pig-whipped. Whre do you even get that stuff.
Hyde : Are you kidding? Michael, call me at 8:00.
Eric : Michael, do you Chico impression.
Fez : Michael, rub oil on my thighs while I spank you. Please, someone else talk now.

Bob : Midge, this table is a little wobbly. Stick some sugar packets under it, will you?

Midge : Honey, I think your annoyinng friend is right.

Midge : Honey. Men don't control the world.
Bob : Okay, I'll see you later.
Midge : Honey, could you open this jar for me?
Bob : Sure thing, pudding.
Midge : I'm so lucky to have my big, strong grizzly bear around.
Donna : First of all yuck. Second, things don't even work like that anymore. That's what the Equal Rights Amendment is for.
Midge : That's good dear. You stick to your principles. And 40 years from now, you can tell all your cats how you won a basketball game.

Jackie : Skey, she was going like, "That is so gross!" And I went like, "It takes one to know one!" And she was like, "No." and I went , "Yeah."
Kelso : Aha.
Hyde : Man, are you still on the phone? Come one, let's go.
Kelso : I can't.
Hyde : The movie starst in five minutes. Let's go.
Kelso : I can't.
Hyde : Wuss.
Kelso : Jackie, hold on. Okay, I'll tell her there's an emergency and I gotta go. She'll buy that, right?
Hyde : Yeah, except for one thing. (Hyde indicatings Kelso's hiding the wrong part)

Donna : Have you been practicing? My goodness, what a super shot.
Eric : Donna, what are you doing?
Donna: I'm losing to you, you big, strong grizzly bear.

Kitty : Your father's fixing my refrigerator!

Hyde : You could, and I know this is a ridical suggestion, be a man?
Kelso : You're right man. No more excuses.
Fez : She will crush him, yes?
Hyde : Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers
Fez : My forefathers were not Mayan.
Hyde : Like anyone cares.
Jackie : So Michael.
Kelso : So Jackie. I didn't mean to make you hang up on me. I'm sorry. It will never happen again.

Hyde : I'm sorry. I remember saying, be a man, not be a wuss.
Fez : I am ahamed to know you.

Donna : Hey, remember when we were eight and I beat you at wrestling? That was fun.
Eric : Donna, you sat on my chest and made me eat a clump of dirt.
Red : That was pretty sad, Eric.
Eric : What?
Red : Come on, I'm going to teach you how to play backetball. We got four hours untill your bedtime and we are gonna drill and drill.
Eric : But I thought that Mom needed your help.
Kitty : I can't hear you, Eric, I'm ironing. Lalala~
Red : We'll start you off with 100 squat thrusts.

Jackie : So Barbra Streisand became this huge star, right? But Kris Kristofferson could not take it anymore. so he drinks and crashes his car. Isn't that romantic?
Fez : Say, Yes, it is.
Kelso : "Yes, it is."
Jackie : I just love romantic movies, don't you?
Fez : Yes, I do.
Kelso : "Yes, I do."
Jackie : You know what would be a good romantic scene in movie? The night we had by the reservoir when we went skinny-dipping. Remember?
Fez : No, describe it to me.
Kelso : "No, describe it to me."
Jackie : Michael, you're so bad. Okay, the water was really cold. So I dove in, well you know.
Fez : "No I don't know."
Jackie : "Michael!"

Well, considering how Jackie behaved in the late seasons, Jackie in this first season looks super annoying lol